16 October 2014

Broken Hearts

15 October 2014
            From M:
Boys don’t know what they want. They don’t see a good thing when they have it. You’re too good for him anyways because he seems kind of lame. Also not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Somewhere in the world there’s somebody who loves drum corps and arguing and color guard as much as you do and you’ll fall in love. There are still a few thousand people at college who you haven’t met yet. There are 3.5 Billion men in the world. So there has to be one for you.

            I like him like a flower loves the sun, but if only he liked me like he liked his video games and his football. I’ve tried getting interested in the things he likes but its no use. I means I’ve spent all most all of today in his room.

            It’s simple.
            I’m too plain, too bland, too fat, too ugly, too uninteresting for him.
            I’m too me.

            He’d rather have a girl that goes out and parties all night and wakes up the next morning with no recollection of the night before.

            I would say that I’m losing myself  when I’m with him but the truth is that I don’t know what I am when I’m with him. Sometimes I’m wild and free and the next I’m shy and timid.

            How does he make me feel?
            Why does he make me feel?

            But the honest truth is that I’ll never be his girl.
            Because I actually like to remember the night before,
            Because I actually like to know my limits

            If that makes me boring, then so be it.

            Because it makes me, me.

            And I’d rather be me than be his anyday.

            

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